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Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A Rant for the New Year

Check it out guys, we're all Americans no matter how much we bicker and try to force our opinions into how we see this country should be run. And since we're a nation that has historically grown from debate and compromise when applied to internal relations,I propose to you conservatives the following...
1.) You can have your assault rifles, elephant guns, shotguns...hell have some grenades. IF our college kids can smoke their pot without having to worry about you guys beating their doors down and destroying their lives.
2.) You can throw out Roe Vs. Wade and make abortion illegal. IF You can finally let this country have what EVERY other industrialized country has : Full health care for every man, woman, and child. The trauma wards are going to be busy anyway from the first part of the previous compromise. Also all males should relinquish authority on their own bodies for a required period of one month per year. This would involve un needed surgeries and amputations and / or mutilations for the period of the entire month, the specifics to be determined at random by a board of female officials. We can be gentlemen and not hypocrites right? The good thing is it will be paid for.
3.) You can keep your delusions of the smartness in regards to going into Iraq for no damn good reason. IF You repect the fact that alot of people disagree with you. And they're not traitors..... Any armchair strategist can tell you this war just opened our legs to a nasty nutshot from Iran (an ACTUAL terrorist state).

Finally as a token of good faith, we offer Alec Baldwin as a hostage. In return, we want Ann Coulter (see to it that she's bathed).

Whaddaya say my American brethren and sistren....can it be done??!!!