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Thursday, August 27, 2009

Poor Babies...



Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. -- Albert Einstein

Awww....did some big mean intellectual come and smoosh your dreams for a theocratic right wing paradise?

I know it makes you sad, and I wish I could make it all better. But you see, you HAD your turn to play with our society. Now the big kids get a turn, and you will just have to take your Kool-Aid box and go watch Teletubbies. What? No the purple one isn't gay. Kid's think the dumbest things sometimes.

Huh? Your little friend says that we are ALL wrong and that the big kids are mean "doodie heads"? And it's not their turn because she says their leader isn't from this neighborhood?



Well she DEFINITELY looks like she knows what she's talking about! Why, just look at that law degree she got with her Fruity Pebbles proofs of purchase. That's adorable.

Ok, but it's seriously time to come inside for your nap.. What? What do you mean they are going to ruin the playground while you are inside? You guys were the ones who messed it up, remember? Your little friend Georgie decided to play GI Joe with the kids across the way and melted all of their figures because they "kinda looked like" the kids who spray painted the swing-set? We're still paying for that you know! But at least the big kids will find the brats who originally caused the problem in the first place.

Don't worry the playground is in better hands now. But it's nap time and you know how cranky you get when..huh? What do you mean "God" says it's still your turn to play?



God doesn't take sides on the playground. And we don't care what little Stevie thinks of the big kids' leader. Didn't we catch him salting snails last week? Besides, he only reads the mean parts of the bible anyway so he pretty much hates everything. Especially snails. We really wish his mommy and daddy didn't hit him so much, but we love him anyway.

You are really asking for a time out, I have been more than patient with you! You had your chance to play and look what you did! We caught you torturing other kids, making fun of others because they are poorer than you, the playground has never been this dirty before yet you say it's "naturally" like that, you kids are brats plain and simple!

And if you don't come inside for your nap, I'll be forced to get out the paddle! Maybe if you are good, you can have another chance to be in charge, but you blew it this time! You don't play well with others, you are dirty, you have really bad manners, and you think that God only listens to you. Why would God take the side of a spoiled brat? It's time to move on, and it's time for you to come inside for your nap!

You don't own the playground. Just be happy the big kids are willing to clean up your mess!

62 comments:

faucets said...

thanks for sharing their stuff with us.Faucets

Glovey said...

Absolutely loving the opinions of the pics my man! Keep up the good work!

Siphil said...

Awesome post, and I hate to say it, but that purple Teletubby is gay.

Tracerz said...

**applause**

Mike Yang said...

This is gold. Followed.

d0t said...

Haha. Loved your writing style, made me chuckle

Glovey said...

The protestors at the top of the page.... Obama White slavery? Hmm could cause real debate. Thumbs up!

The Innocuous Bison said...

If theres a schism in Australian politics, theres a Grand Canyon separating the Americans.

Didn't Bush cause all of this? The ghost of his Administration still looms over your country. You need a militia to take out Palin, Beck and Limbough, maybe Hannity. At least after that you'd have some semblance.

sildude said...

Hilarious post.

Dr.Thrax said...

Oh the right wing...

baxxman said...

Love the slavery guy for entertaining reasons.
http://baxxmans.blogspot.com/

Glovey said...

I agree with you on this one! + I love how you start off with the great quote from the man himself! Thanks for sharing!

Kim Anders said...

good article! wouw!

Robert Fünf said...

Meh. Obama. Bush. They're all the same. The only politician that I've seen that might actually have any sense is Ron Paul. But did we elect him? No. That would've been too easy.

ankmanpro said...

Poor babies indeed! followed!
alphabetalife.blogspot.com

Mike Yang said...

Folly, thou conquerest, and I must yield!
Against stupidity the very gods
Themselves contend in vain. Exalted reason,
Resplendent daughter of the head divine,
Wise foundress of the system of the world,
Guide of the stars, who art thou then if thou,
Bound to the tail of folly's uncurbed steed,
Must, vainly shrieking with the drunken crowd,
Eyes open, plunge down headlong in the abyss.
Accursed, who striveth after noble ends,
And with deliberate wisdom forms his plans!
To the fool-king belongs the world.

aphoticdark said...

Haha nice satirical punt at kids. Very well written and interesting man thanks for the read.

tearinox said...

lol I loving the playground metaphor.

The Angry Lurker said...

Very subtle way of putting it.

Mike Yang said...

Mediocre spirits have also encountered violent opposition from great minds, so don't give up hope :)

clique said...

lol you make me laugh.

Andre said...

Amen brotha!
How to Hack Life.

My heart shaped blog. said...

Just saw that you followed me so naturally I clicked on your blog, your posts are all really insightful and well written.
I'm from England and am currently studying politics at AS level, we don't do American politics until next year but I'm very interested in it so it's great to read your posts! :)

Erika said...

Interesting read. Thanks for sharing =]

ed said...

brb drinkin kool aid and watching teletubies

Kicking Rocks said...

great info man!

Justin testing said...

@ed: don't diss the cool-aid!

The Game Store Guy said...

Wow...That was just an absolutely hilarious read. I really should not have been laughing so hard. Thanks.

Tasos said...

I kept reading until I figure out what that "playground" was haha

Venus said...

great post!

duffboi said...

kewl post, i enjoyed it.

Sam said...

Agree with Siphil. Great post!

Justin said...

LOL, I like what you did here.

'Auana said...

Nice stuff man... i hate conspirators tho...

amBored said...

"we caught you torturing other kids" loved this post

Erika said...

I can't find a single point to disagree with. Very well written!

skinned sheep said...

thats an awesome einstein quote. thank you..

'Auana said...

pure awesome man, great job

Elliot MacLeod-Michael said...

God told me that I shouldn't let big government tell me what to do, and that there should be a law against gay marriage, abortion, and pornography.
I see why you defected, dude.

MAX POWER said...

man, republicans are crazy as shit. I'm glad i live in canada haha. following :)

come check out my dj blog

maxpowerthedj.blogspot.com

Zeek said...

Man...The world is a crazy place now, people take hyperbole over facts TIME AND TIME AGAIN. The masses have been lulled into hating something they TRULY do not understand!

Moob said...

interesting

YourArgumentIsCurrentlyInvalid said...

good luck with the twins dude! =)

Anthony C said...

I wish someone could lecture this to a billionaire. Take them down a peg or two, that's for sure.

elexerdelex said...

what the f*ck did I just read?!?! I love it! ''god doesnt take sides on the playground'' lol'd at that!

:D

Nina said...

Thanks for sharing

princy gupta said...

coollll one!!!

clique said...

this was great.

Zombie said...

Let the slaves go! lol.

doomsday said...

Great post, bro! Keep up the good work! :D

Discovery Underground said...

Your writing style is incredibly creative. You are talented!

CandleintheDark said...

Haha I'm loving this. I feel so much the same.

These people are idiots

Endless said...

great writing style!

Sanctor said...

Obamas plan is white slavery? but he is the president...Wow...how illogical

KungPao said...

This is a great post. "White slavery" [laughs]

Amalek said...

You have a great writing style with a lot of humor! following!

Discovery Underground said...

thanks for sharing!

clique said...

you make me smile on the inside.

Broccoli said...

This post makes it seem like Obama is the savior of the US, though I would have to say he is quite far from that. Interesting writing style though mate. Keep it up!

Mike said...

Written wonderfully. +Followed.

Bigshanks BSc said...

Thanks for sharing this with us mate, awesome post!

taio said...

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