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Friday, November 23, 2007

Ann Coulter's Newest Scandal A Crushing Secret Revealed!!!

The birds were just starting to come back to the skies. These same skies were beginning to shed the dull green tint that had haunted it since the morning of 10/4/07 when columnist Ann Coulter last opened her mouth on national television to other than a fixed audience.

Her handlers had forgotten to tell her that she wasn't in the cold dark embrace of the Faux News Channel's newsroom, her natural habitat. Maybe they had just had enough.... Maybe she proved especially stubborn that morning when they prodded her into her transport crate and they were craving sweet working man's revenge. Harpy Handling is an old world craft after all, and like the stone masons I'm sure the odd secret society has sprung up through the course of their history that could easily be offended by her. Maybe her endorsement of Rumsfeld's new project "Baby Flakes" cereal, but we'll know for sure.

So she was released into the CNBC studio wearing her signature black and red Santa-skin miniskirt (yeah that's why you didn't get your Wii last year) and jewelry fashioned from the tears of his elves forced to watch the slaughter. The following train wreck of an exchange then transpired....

What gets me the most probably is the fact that she was asked a very good and potentially telling question about why it is she is such a B. Indeed what WOULD this country look like if the right wing lords of batshit finally "won"? We had a chance here to see what it was that these assclowns were so passionate about that supposedly excuses their actions. The "Ends Justifying the Means" is a debate I think everyone has had with themselves. Salesman, Lawyers, and pundits more so. And because of that, maybe we had a chance to see some humanity come from these people.

The question totally stumped her....

The best response she could come up with was the 2004 Repugnican National Convention. And depending on what side of the issues you were, that environment either looked like this:

Or This:

I don't know about you, but NEITHER of those Dante rings looks nice to me. So in an effort to quickly mask the fact that hell on earth is actually the neocons' true goal, she quickly lifted her skirt and flashed America some good old down home right wing intolerance. Good Save!!

But the collateral damage still exists and until today, she's been a pariah even in the Faux land of make believe news. But here in this blog, you have an exclusive peek into the double life of Ann Coulter. You see in addition to playing the journalistic equivalent of Cruella Deville, she has had a very successful music career throughout the 80's and various county fairs and swap meets throughout this great country.

You might remember this little ditty, and I close this entry with Ann singing one of our favorite junior high anthems from them wacky 80's. And before you ask, yes I DO realize that this makes her gender even MORE of a mystery. Good night and Good Luck....

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